Why do some people find fault with everything??

Discussion in 'Open Discussions' started by Faxie, Jan 6, 2010.

  1. Faxie

    Faxie Well-known Member

    Just a lil vent time.. I have this friend who i saw over the xmas period, who always seems to find fault with everything i do and/or say.. what can you do with people like this? I feel like i have to justify everything and its getting really annoying #(

    Just because I have a life i am very happy with and have had some great things happen seems to make this person upset..:(

    This person is just a 'woe is me' type.. but you can see by the choices they make they created their own reality.

    I'm not taking it on, but it is getting annoying to the point where i really aint that interested anymore..
  2. wheatbeltanimalrescue

    wheatbeltanimalrescue Well-known Member

    Think about it - by critisising you they make them self look like they have a better life etc! Jealousy here i'm afraid #( Some people need to belittle others to feel better about themselves.
  3. emmyloveshorses

    emmyloveshorses Active Member

    I don't know why people do this but, I've had a friend like this (surprisingly she isn't my friend anymore... :p) and my brother hates EVERYTHING. Disagree's with EVERYTHING. Mum and I have given up. We make whatever we want for dinner and if he doesn't like it, there's plenty of bread. We bought a new house and he won't come and see it. So everytime we go out it's, " Can you buy me this?" When he's not even there. It's drives me NUTTY!!!!!!! :mad::mad:
    Seriously, if he can't get off his backside to come down the road to see what he can have for lunch, or visit the new house... HE'S LAZY!!!! We have shown him a video of the house and he complains about something in everyroom.
    "Oh, it's another one of those bath showers."
    "Are you getting rid of those shelves?"

    I have seriously had enough. I have a feeling I'll probably move out of home first (even though he's 3 years older than me) because he doesn't want to do anything with his life. I'm 13 and already thinking about getting a job this year. All he does is sit on his but all day playing computer games, listening to music and talking to people. He never helps around the house. Once he was going to do the dishes and he said, "Oh, these are mostly your dishes." So? WHY NOT DO THEM YOURSELF YOU LAZY MEANIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad::mad::mad:

    That feels slightly better. :)
  4. It sounds as though your 'friend' has never learned how to be happy. Truly happy. I am sure they think they are but its prob pretty obvious to everyone else they aren't. So as WAR said, to give themselves a lift and to make their life not seem so bad they find fault elsewhere.

    I really feel sorry for people like this, because they won't ever be really happy, the won't ever be comfortable in their own skin nor content with all the great things they DO have. Its really sad.
  5. Oh and Emmy, MY brother is exactly the same. He drives me bananas. I moved out first and haven't been happier. Now he's out in the world on his own he's had to find SOME independance (till he finds a nice little wifey to mother him LOL) and as long as I don't see him much we get along just fine.
  6. Ren

    Ren Well-known Member

    agree its a jealously thing and my putting you down they look better :) sad that their life is not going well to have to pick
  7. emmyloveshorses

    emmyloveshorses Active Member

    Too bad I'm only 13 :/
    I'd rather live in a hayloft.
  8. Jonty3

    Jonty3 Guest

    I knew people like this also, they are no longer my friend!
  9. I had a friend who was simular but not quite. It wasnt that she'd find fault with stuff, not at all. But everything I did or story I had to tell, she would always find a way to go one better.

    If I had a story about a bad fall, her fall was worse. If I had a story about an awesome riding achievement, she had a better one. If my mum annoyed me, hers would have annoyed me worse. If I got a super Christmas present she had a better one. If I had endured a really awful terrible day she'd had a worse one. It was unreal. Sometimes I'd invent something just to see what she'd come up with.
  10. Cornflower

    Cornflower Well-known Member

    Yep, totally agree.

    Have a friend like this. Sort of. And even if they have a good life, or something good that's happened to them, they always seem to find time to ring you and gloat about it, and find out just how much better whatever it is, is better than yours.
    Yet, they never seem to have time to ring you to see how you are.
    They always seem to talk about themselves, and all you seem to do is sit there and nod. Because even if you do say something about yourself, they will tear off at a tangent back to themselves, never asking any questions about you, or even showing the slightest bit of interest.
    And forget about ever getting an appology.
    You're only there when they are bored.

    Shits me to no end.
  11. LilD

    LilD Well-known Member

    Thats what it is, my maid of honour she didnt even speak to my OH all day, no congrats etc, I sent her copys of the photos no thanks or anything. Dont know why she even came.

    People who put you down arnt true friends !
  12. Sim

    Sim Well-known Member

    Very true, and why bother with them, when there are so many nice people (and horses :p) to become friends with?
  13. Merlin

    Merlin Well-known Member

    They suffer from an inferiority complex, so they need to put others down or pick faults to make themselves feel better. It is sad, the old "greeneyed monster" raises it's head yet again. Nothing good ever happens for these people because they are so negative, pessimistic and highly critical, that all they ever cop is BAD KARMA a vicious circle to be in#(#(#(
  14. Faxie

    Faxie Well-known Member

    LOL about the inventing ML, too funny! Too true about karma Merlin!

    Yeah i agree i do think a lot is due to jealousy, but as my hubby would say ' go to to Bunnings, buy a hammer, build a bridge and get over it' PMSL

    I would be only too happy if my friend got her 'crap' together and got on with it.. but she keeps following the same pattern and making the same choices so this will never happen.

    I try talking to her and offering possible solutions, got to be subtle so as not to offend tho.. so i don't do that often.. I know if i just said what i really think she would be very offended and i do value her friendship (when she isn't busy criticisiing)

    Thanks for listening
  15. Tallarook

    Tallarook Well-known Member

    Sounds like your "friend" lacks self-esteem. I too used to have a friend like this, no longer friends and i couldnt be happier.

    I say it how i see it, too bad for my ex friend. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, learn something from them and as i did choose to have nothing to do with them..:)

    Dont waste your time with them, move on and enjoy a better friendship you will find once you close the door on the old one. :p
  16. EVP

    EVP Gold Member

    Yep she is the one doing the comparisons and coming up short. Next time she starts it do a drastic change of subject.....something completely different. Keep changing the subject over and over. When she finally says "Why arn't you listening to me?"....tell her that you have heard it all before and it depresses you. Tell her you spend your time being positive about things and that depressing thoughts and conversations make you feel like crap....."Can we talk about happy nice things?"

    If she asks for advise tell her "You're a smart person, I think you already know the answer".......she will then go on to answer her own question and you won't have had to "advise" anything.
    Last thing you ever do is "advise" someone who really doesn't want your advise because they resent you.........secretly or not.

    Let her "work out her own issues" by being the ears only!....lolol:))
    Nodding and "Uh huhing" at the appropriate time is also good!
  17. Faxie

    Faxie Well-known Member

    Thanks EVP , i think i kinda do that already anyway.. i tend to want to only talk positive and only touch on the negative.
  18. ASH lover

    ASH lover Well-known Member

    Good advice EVP!
    I did know a GP in the UK that would not react at all to people 'whinging' ....and it works!!!!

    Believe me , I have tried it with people that go on and on and on and on.....just stare at them blankly without any encouragement from you they will dry up completely in about 30secs ;)

    Remember Faxie - it is Their insecurities that are the problem, not you....and if all else fails you have to weigh up if their friendship is worth it....it sounds hard I know, but I have recently let a friend go cos it was a draining experience....when she is ready to take responsibility for her own life / horses / children / relationships then I will be happy to let her back into my life...but for now she needs to work it out by herself
  19. Merlin

    Merlin Well-known Member

    Couldn't agree more ASHLover**)
  20. paula223

    paula223 Gold Member

    Sorry but i wouldnt waste your energy on friends like that.
    I think negative thinking just gets you down and brings so much negative in your life.
    I am the sort of person who likes to think positive in everything :)
    Also i dont really have best friends so to speak,like i dont like to see someone EVERYDAY and also could not be doing with someone wingeing on & on about there problams
    Life is what ever you make of it,so think positive and positive things WILL happen :)
    Your friend does seem like the jealous type and someone i would keep at arms length lol

Share This Page