"support" from parents at shows

Discussion in 'Horse Showing and Events' started by cupcake, Apr 23, 2011.

  1. cupcake

    cupcake Well-known Member

    Really wish I could have filmed some parents at serpy today, just so they could sit back and see how much of a fool they made of themselves.

    I heard a mother, of a young child on a pony go mental at her daugther because she didnt go as well as what her mum had hoped.

    Felt sooooo sorry for the child.

    Then in warm up arena for dressage some mum again with a very small child on a little pony yelling at the child for little mistakes, (this child looked to me a very good little rider, i wish I could have got my boy to behave as much as her pony) and this was before the child even got into the dressage arena. How do you think the kid felt going into that arena! Poor thing.

    If this was any stockies yelling at their kids, at ANY comp... just remember,


    And they are JUST KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Wanted to go over to these poor kids, give them a pat on the back and say WELL DONE! cos they wernt getting it from their parents!
  2. Lakota

    Lakota Well-known Member

    It's terrible isn't it? #( Unfortunately the "ugly parent" syndrome is everywhere - I wish they would stand back and have a look at themselves.

    Thankfully I have the best Mum in the world. She couldn't be anymore supportive, I am so so grateful for everything she does :) Love you Mum!! :D
  3. farfromhome

    farfromhome Well-known Member

    i agree with Lakota... its in every sport unfortunately :( its so sad !!
  4. myyky

    myyky Well-known Member

    I suppose I'm lucky Dad doesn't give a sh*t then Haha
    It is pretyy sad hey. And when they stand there telling them how to do things they obviously can't do, and then yell at them or get frustrated.. They're just KIDS.
  5. blitzen

    blitzen Gold Member

    my dad used to do something that i suppose, in hind sight, was meant to act as some sort of reverse psychology thing to instill that winning drive. nevermind the fact that i was fairly competitive & did have some extremely successful years (and some not so successful).
    he would say stuff like, "well if you aren't going to win we might as well send the pony to the knackers."
    "why on earth would i spend so much money on a pony for you to have fun? if you want to have fun then you may as well stay home."

    it was really unpleasant & pretty much made me insane in competitions.

    that said, he DID buy me a nice pony & did drive me all over the place. it just came with barbs on, thats all.

    i do think that nowadays that competing is far too competitive and EXPENSIVE to honestly & truly do *just for fun* and if you aren't going to put some effort in to be slightly competitive, then you should stick to PC, ARC, clinics, lessons etc.

    that said, some parents also have an over-inflated idea of what their kid is capable of & when faced with the harsh reality, some take a little time to get used to it.
  6. Papsrus

    Papsrus New Member

    It's weird how that works though. A parent will be unpatient and yell at their child, and then wonder why they performed so poorly afterwards? Even when I'm not competing or doing anything, if someone was to raise their voice at me for some reason, I'd be shaking for half an hour afterwards xD
  7. Valencia Park Monty

    Valencia Park Monty Well-known Member

    i do think that nowadays that competing is far too competitive and EXPENSIVE to honestly & truly do *just for fun* and if you aren't going to put some effort in to be slightly competitive, then you should stick to PC, ARC, clinics, lessons etc.

    that said, some parents also have an over-inflated idea of what their kid is capable of & when faced with the harsh reality, some take a little time to get used to it.

    agreed blitzen
  8. cupcake

    cupcake Well-known Member

    Of course you need to put effort in, and you want to better your last.

    But sometimes its taken WAY to seriously!
  9. mirawee

    mirawee Gold Member

    Have you listened to how some kids talk to their parents at events too :eek: If I ever talked to mine like that I would have been taken straight home :p

    I think a lot could be stress each way. But agreed it isn't needed :)
  10. cupcake

    cupcake Well-known Member

    Agree with you too Mirawee, I didnt hear it from the kids, but im sure it happends too.
  11. Siren

    Siren Well-known Member

    This sort of thing makes my blood boil. Shame on any parent that puts on a performance like the ones mentioned here.
    Its so sad that it is amongst every sport or hobby. Or anything really. Some parents just have a knack for being a**holes. :mad:

    But your right too Mirawee - those kids need a good kick up the backside aswell **)

    Their is a fine line between encouragement and bullying. But most adults should know where that is.
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2011
  12. sherreem

    sherreem Well-known Member

    if this was after the dressage about 12 o,clock child on grey pony then i saw this too and felt sooooo sorry for poor kid. the mother wasnt even trying to be quiet.

    if she hadnt of walked off when she did i was going to go have a word with her.

    all i could think was " biatch"

    think my daughter would have run me over with her pony if i had ever done that to her.
  13. Yarraman

    Yarraman Well-known Member

    Ugly very ugly

    Sometimes I wonder if some parents are living out their own frustrated ambitions through their kids.
  14. Leti loves Elmo

    Leti loves Elmo Well-known Member

    I have seen this too. Its like really goal orientated parents and kids dont come home unless you won. Their kids have to be winners and as good as themselves.
  15. Merlin

    Merlin Well-known Member

    Agree completely :)

    My mum was extremely supportive, useless as tit's on a bull, not your showy mum at all, I did it all myself!!! Im happy she drove me (even tho she was petrified) I did snap a few times but it was just stress and threat was always there she would take me home :(

    My dad resented my riding, hated doing anything, would hit me in the car on the way to shows because he didn't want to drive me :( Threw back in my face having to build stables and fix things around the property :(

    So soon as I was 18 I payed for it all myself and drove myself. Occasionally mum would drive down later and watch :)

    To be honest I have heard adults snapping at their grooms and helpers due to nerves so it isn't just kids :)
  16. Lokenzo

    Lokenzo Gold Member

    I am not a mum but had a friends daughter showing my pony for me a couple of years ago. We did our best to turn her out and give her the best chance possible but there was no way I was putting pressure on her rider, she did a fantastic job for me and gave it her best!
  17. Roleysgirl

    Roleysgirl Active Member

    I have now said my Mums not "allowed" to come to major events with me unless she doesn't tell me how to ride. I am lucky in some respects that she is a riding instructor and professional horse trainer, however when I'm competing I really don't need the added stress of being yelled at!
    I agree with most of the comments here, but would like to add one more thing- the way that some children treat their ponies at shows, they DESERVE to be yelled at!!
  18. Dollar

    Dollar Well-known Member

    Totally agree with Mirawee and Roleysgirl.

    I am a parent of a young rider and I can say I have yelled at her at shows. It takes a lot of time, effort and money to get your child to the official ring or whatever show these days and they need to understand that they are not just there for fun with their friends, or to yang around with other kids, when they are in that ring riding they are there to try their best and learn along the way. And they constantly need to be reminded of SAFETY at shows as don't forget a lot of these kids ride at home on their own and are not experienced at riding around a confined warm up area with lots of people and big hacks, stallions etc... The yelling is not always about their performance.

    I'm constantly yelling at my child to walk the pony, as she often sneaks in the trotting and cantering around.
  19. dirtbug

    dirtbug Gold Member

    merlin that is so sad about what you dad did :(

    my mum used to tell me i wasnt a horsetainers backside (edited to be cleaner then what she said, her and dad trained pacers) this was when i was a kid...

    im happy my kids get out there and play sports, i wouldnt dream of being mean.
  20. Diana

    Diana Gold Member

    My parents know nothing about horses :) so the 2 or 3 times I was lucky enough to go to a show they were all about encouragement! I'm probably really hard on myself as it is - so they kinda had to tell me to chill out and not take it so hard :p Same with piano playing at Eisteddfods....I was crying after playing a piece because I made teeny tiny mistakes - my dad threatened to take me home for still crying. (They were slightly wrong notes...as in - if you knew the piece, you'd notice) I still got an "Excellent" for it. (next down from Outstanding :p )

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