1. Joining Airborne Equitation International (affectionately known as AAEEEEEEEEEI!). 2. I'm in a transitional relationship with my saddle. 3. Dirt for dessert. 4. High-fiving a nightcrawler. 5. Swan dive (water optional). 6. Spending a little quality time with gravity. 7. Checking your girth...from the bottom. 8. Doing the rootin' tootin', grass-scorching, scare-the-spectators boogie. 9. A quick trip to Dirtsville. 10. Trolling for paramedics. 11. Just seeing if the judge was paying attention. 12. A Richter-Scale-5 spot check of footing quality. 13. Insufficient flapping. 14. Studying impact craters at close range. 15. Spontaneous retrograde. 16. Pushing down daisies. 17. Turf surfing. 18. Incoming!! 19. A short step-over four feet south of Hermes, France. 20. Vulture baiting.