Grabbing a Rein...

Discussion in 'Training Horses' started by Arnie, Jan 17, 2004.

  1. Taryn

    Taryn Well-known Member

    Here here Dinah well said,
    You wouldn't happen to be Ron Flemings wife would you?

    ~God forbid that I should go to any heaven in which there are no horses!~ r.b. cunningham graham
     
  2. Samasam

    Samasam Guest

    Dinah,what a brilliant post.I think at some stage we could all take a leaf out of that book.
    Certainly got me thinking anyway.
    Cheers Mel
     
  3. Arnie

    Arnie Gold Member

    Thanks. I'm definently no attention seeking girl. But all my life I've always found it hard when someone tells me i'm doing something wrong on my horse. I envy each and every person on this forum cuz you have everything I don't have and I wish I did. I support myself everyday, i have no money to run my car, and when I come home with grazes down my back, migrains ect from accidents I get no sympathy from anyone at home. I wish I could get regular lessons and I'd prolly be a more positive person but I can't so I have taught myself for the last 8yrs and i guess I ask for help but can't take it in because I'm so used to doing it myself...

    Sarah


    ~All time is wasted what is not spent with horses.~
     
  4. Zahira

    Zahira Well-known Member

    Sarah....Let me tell you something. You are not the ONLY one that has it tough. I to have taught myself (for practically ever) so that IS NO EXCUSE. We all have money troubles. I only live week by week myself, so that IS NO EXCUSE.
    I don't expect or want people to pity me when my knees play up in winter (juvy arthritis), so your aches and pains ARE NO EXCUSE.

    Stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time, and do something about it.

    Zahira
     
  5. Zahira

    Zahira Well-known Member

    And Dinah....BRILLANT post.
     
  6. Arnie

    Arnie Gold Member

    Sorry I was referring to when I'm come home like that my family gives me no support. I've never had any support for example my parents haven't seen my horse for 3 years. That is hard you know and some people take things more emotionally then the stronger people...

    Sarah


    ~All time is wasted what is not spent with horses.~
     
  7. Arnie

    Arnie Gold Member

    I figured out the problem (with some help from you guys. THANKS :-D) I've noticed that Arnie isn't bending around my inside leg properly, I just need to apply it lightly (he's very responsive so I have to feather touch him with my leg) and bring my outside leg back a bit or he'll bring his shoulders in and his butt is stiff and vwola...taking a bit of pratice but we'll get there...

    Sarah


    ~All time is wasted what is not spent with horses.~
     
  8. ashka

    ashka Well-known Member

    Sarah, I do sometimes feel that there are members of this forum who are a little harsh with you. And, I do feel as if up until the past couple of weeks, you have been trying very hard to listen and accept people's opinions.

    But, personally, I have to draw the line when you cite money problems, or lack of support from your parents, or health issues as reasons to dig yourself into a hole.

    My personal life lesson - and the one I contine to battle with everyday - is that I can't have everything at once. And sometimes we just don't get it at all.

    I'm not going to drag out all the crap stuff that's happened in my life - and every single member of this forum has had the worst kinds of things happen to them - but sometimes life is really hard. And when that happens you have to make really tough decisions in order for things to get better.

    I took a ten year break from horses and riding, because I couldn't have it all at once. In that time I studied, worked my way into a good job and supported myself. I have never had financial support from my parents or others.

    I have a suggestion, and it's probably not one you want to face right now, but I'm going to say it anyway.

    Sell Arnie - or lease him out. Get the best job you can and work really, really hard. Move out of home, away from the negativity you get from your parents and support yourself. Pay your bills and feel pride that you've done it all yourself. Find someone who doesn't have enough time to ride their horses (like me!) and keep your riding and knowledge up to scratch like that.

    This way, there will come a day when you'll sit back and feel pride because you've put in a decent day's work at a job you enjoy ... there will be a day when you can agist your horse at the classiest agistment centre and go to any show you like. But it will take you and only you to get out of that negative mindset and seize the opportunities that are out there.

    I really hope you do Sarah and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
     
  9. Arnie

    Arnie Gold Member

    Thankyou so much for your kind words :-D. I've considered moving out of home and I know a few places that are happy to take me in. But the number one thing I can't do is sell my horse / lease him out. We have the strongest relationship (also noted by the people at the stables) and I've sat by him while he's sweating / groaning on the ground with colic, stressed from falling through a floor of a float ect. I've been there for him and I know its gonna get some of you guys upset but i feel we have something more then other people...he just doesn't trust most other people...my friend goes under him simply to get in a corner of his hoof to put hoof black on and he stamps his foot cuz he's un happy and she's sent to hospital with blood pouring out her head. Yet I sit under him and brush his belly. (yes its wrong but I feel no fear). We have an extremely strong bond and I'll do anything to keep him...I'll sell my car if I have to but he's never going to leave my side. I've told so many people I can just see my kids (in the late future) learning to ride on him plodding around...I have a place where I am seriously considering moving and I know i will get great support. But the hard thing is, I'm 17 and moving out of home for the 1st time, I can't quite seem to get my head around that...

    Sarah


    ~All time is wasted what is not spent with horses.~
     
  10. ashka

    ashka Well-known Member

    Yes, it's scary to move out for the first time! I remember I never quite moved out of my parents - took me years to actually get all my stuff out.

    Whatever you do, just make sure you are financially ready and able to support yourself and Arnie without compromising both his and your needs.
     
  11. Arnie

    Arnie Gold Member

    Oh I bet its hard. But I don't think its a good idea to move out of home until I can afford it? Like buy my own food ect...Once I've got my agistment saughted out (won't take long) I'll be able to afford lots of stuff...work stuffed me around a bit thats why...I might even be able to afford lessons which would be so great! Man I'd get excited before every lesson. Oh dea now the memories have hit....I remember every monday 4:00 I had to be tacked up and on my horse walking around waiting for my instructor to come in. Gosh I loved those days...
    I'm sitting here thinking why do I hear so many planes in the air / helicopters and I just stepped out side and the bloody sky is black! Made me jump for a sec I thought a fire would of been in the hills but its barely a k away...

    Sarah


    ~All time is wasted what is not spent with horses.~
     
  12. squidhillqh

    squidhillqh Guest

    Arnie have you thought of going to an establishment that will take you on as a working type pupil. I did this when I was young, I got board, my horses agistment and 2 lessons a week in return for stable duties, some studs will even give you a small wage. It could be just what you need, a new home, your horse, lessons and work.

    Cheers,
    www.squidhill.bigpondhosting.com
     
  13. Arnie

    Arnie Gold Member

    That would be absolutly excellent if I could find a place that did that???...If I ever found one I'd definently jump in and do it...

    Sarah


    ~All time is wasted what is not spent with horses.~
     
  14. Taryn

    Taryn Well-known Member

    That's a great suggestion squidhillqh, have a think about that Sarah

    ~God forbid that I should go to any heaven in which there are no horses!~ r.b. cunningham graham
     
  15. ashka

    ashka Well-known Member

    Sarah - if that's something you like the sound of then:

    1. Compile a list of reputable establishments you could see yourself working for
    2. Write a letter expressing your enthusiasm to work for them. Attach a resume and highlight your desire for lodgings and agistment.
    3. Contact them a couple of weeks after you send the letter to check they've received it and to see if they would be interested in taking you on.

    Seize the opportunity. Don't wait for someone to advertise or come to you. If you phrase things to demonstrate the benefits to them, they may employ you even if they don't have a vacancy.
     
  16. widgelli

    widgelli Well-known Member

    Ashka , I know that I do sound tough , but at times someone has to take the bit and state the obvious.
    In fact , I am not a tough person . Not too many artistic people are. However , sometimes things will get up my nose and I will say something. I bought my children up the same way and I can proudly say that none of them have ever been in trouble, and all are gainfully employed except the young chap who has not long ago been medically discharged from the Army , and who is working on setting up his own business as most employers deem him unemployable because of his medical condition.
    A few home truths have never really hurt anyone , and Sarah knows me well enough that she also knows that my bark is worse than my bite. Like a lot of people , myself included, she needs to be woken up occasionally.
    If I hadn't jumped in with the comments that I made , would anyone else have said anything to help in this way? Maybe , maybe not , but some really constructive advise has come of me being tough.
    I might add that I am not just a Mum to my kids , but my daughter's best friend , as well as my sons.(4)
    Sarah , it is hard to leave home for the first time. I had to go away to boarding school when I was 12 , and my children had to do the same thing because we lived too far from the High Schools at the time.
    I do think that you will benefit from this move.
    If you do as Ashka has suggested and apply to as many places as you can for work , it will show future employers that you are keen to work , thus giving you a better chance of getting a good job that you enjoy.
    Enjoying your work is a big thing , and although I am trained to be a lab technician , I have always loved art and now that is just what I am doing and earning at. This makes me very happy , and helps to take away the heart ache that appears sometimes because I can now no longer have my beloved horses. I may not be able to ride them anymore , but I sure as hell can paint and draw them as much as I like.
    Cheers ,


    Jo
     
  17. Arnie

    Arnie Gold Member

    Oh how much I would give to have a relationship with my mum as you do with your daughter Jo. My Mum is a great person and definently hasn't failed her Job: My older sister is a social trainer just like Mum and Dad, My older bro is at uni studying law, and my twin bro is at tafe doing some computing course. But I'm just too stubborn and want to be my own personallity. Too many times Mum has said she wants to see me in my sisters foot steps and she always says how she wish's I'd quit riding and choose something realistic. I think this i what makes me too strong because I want to prove her wrong!...

    Sarah


    ~All time is wasted what is not spent with horses.~
     
  18. Becky

    Becky New Member

    Oh Sarah, your message is such a sad one, but all to familiar.
    Neither of my parents had or wanted to have anything to do with my horsey days ( as I am sure that many peeps in this forum have had the same happen to them.)
    BUT having said that please think what is best for you and your beloved horse...........
    I sold my darling mare because I wasn't earning enough money to support her, me and live, I didn't even have a car to have to run.
    It is now 20 years later and I have got my 10 yo daughter the most delightful pony who we are going to show, do pony club, basically everything that I wanted for my horse.
    Maybe it is time to just relax with the training and just enjoy your horse, just ride him and spend good quality time together and think what is best for him in the long run...........maybe dont try to be so stubborn by trying to show your parents that you can do it all, you are after all 17 and I think that for your age you have done a fantastic job.
    Good luck
     
  19. horsegirl

    horsegirl Well-known Member

    Hey Sarah, have you checked out the job vacancies on the other website that starts with "C" (hehehe) theres a couple there that sounds exactly what you are looking for!!
     
  20. Samasam

    Samasam Guest

    Well I'll jump in here by saying that Sarah did send me an application on tuesday to the job I'm advertising.
    Now even though I have had more experienced applicants and I am a bit hesitant in employing Sarah after some of the things that have happened in the past ,I do believe someone needs a break once in a while and starting mid feb Sarah has a weeks paid trial.If she can prove to me in that time she can follow direction ,has a pleasant attitude and do the job to my satisfaction then I will employ her permanently.
    So in fairness to Sarah she has tried to improve her situation in regards to her employment.
    Only time will tell if it works out.
    cheers Mel
     

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